Cry Baby Cry
Updated: Jan 12, 2020
Motherhood is hard. While you're trying to do everything you can to take care of your littles, you forget to take care of you.
Postpartum is real. And it's terrifying.
You can be the healthiest woman before giving birth but those extra hormones running around in your body can be a nightmare.
I've struggled with depression since I was a teenager. I've had good days and I've had bad. I should have a frequent shoppers card to CVS Pharmacy from all the different depression medicines I've tried over the years.
The latest medicine I was on was Effexor XR. It made me numb. It stopped my crying spells completely and put a fog over any negative thoughts I would have.
I hated it.
I want to cry. I want to feel. I don't want to be a happy zombie floating through life. I want to find a middle for my feelings.
I want to be able to cry when I'm sad but without having a flood of tears. I want to be able to laugh a true genuine laugh.
This medicine does not allow that.
If you're a new mom - allow yourself time. It's crucial.
The time to process a new life. The time to lose weight on your terms. The time to manage your emotions without feeling guilty for it.
I haven't mastered this process yet because if I had, I wouldn't be writing this blog. This is just letting people know how I'm really feeling when they ask, "How are you doing?".
I've started to hate social media. It tricks you into thinking you're not where you're supposed to be in life just because you aren't on the same chapter as everyone else.
I have to stop comparing my book to yours. I am me and you are you. Our stories may be similar, but they aren't the same.
I'm a mother and creating life is my superpower. My house won't always be clean, my kids will eat fast food a lot, and a bottle of wine will stay in my fridge.
Don't judge me - my cape gets heavy.