• Lesli Crow

Nine Years of Loving You

"And in the middle of my chaos, there was you." - Unknown

Rewind life to February 20th, 2009. It was 2:16 AM and the second love of my life was born. Alphonso Ray Crow III came into this world small at only 5lbs 7.8oz. Little did we know that his small self would leave the biggest impression on our lives. He's sweet, goofy, beautifully handsome, and one of the most selfless kids I know.

Fast forward to the year twenty-eighteen and my baby boy is getting ready to turn nine. I tell him this all the time but he is seriously one of THE most beautiful things I've ever seen. His features come together so perfectly but one of the most beautiful things I value about him - his heart.

When Alphonso and I found out we were pregnant, of course emotions were all over the place. It wasn't until we went to find out what we were having that panic set in. I remember calling and telling my mom "Okay, if I call you crying... it's a boy." (I wanted a daughter so bad.)

I called her crying but for an entirely different reason. We found out on that visit that Zo had a condition called Gastroschisis. I've mentioned it in my Random Much blog but you can also read about it here.

Nervous is an understatement.

The second he came out they put him in what is called a silo, took vitals, and he was taken in for surgery. They had to put his intestines, liver, and one of his kidneys back in place before creating a new belly button. He stayed in the NICU for fourteen days and we made the drive back and forth to Ft. Worth to sit with him every day.

He's seen pictures from his hospital stay and has of course asked why his belly button looks the way it does. The only thing I can tell him is that God wanted him to be special and different than everybody else in his own way.

There's no handbook for parenting. You can go off how you were raised, what you read on Google, or just basic trial and error. I'm constantly wondering if the times I miss football games will be the times Zo remembers as he gets older.

Nine years has gone by almost entirely too fast. Since Alphonso and I divorced I've missed out on cuddle time, morning routines, and homework nights. I can't lie - since I miss out on things I still baby him as much as possible.

I'm just not ready for pre-teen years that are coming. He's still so sweet, cuddly, and doesn't have that boy stink. Plus, he's not into girls yet. That is for sure something I'm not ready for. He knows Mommy is the only girl in his life. Trae has been in the "I love girls zone" for a very long time and I just don't want to picture my baby boy anywhere near that damn zone.

The bond a Mother has with her son is something I'm lucky enough to experience in this lifetime. Zo looks identical to me, has his Daddy's goofball personality, and a gracious heart. That will be a combination that somebody will be forced to reckon with when he's older.

Zo is as smart as he is beautifully handsome. He's sensitive, kind, and loves big. He's a Daddy's boy to the fullest which is cool, but I've tried my hardest to find out when exactly that happened. I used to be the only one that he wanted anything to do with. Well, other than Trae. Because ya know, brother stuff.

Thinking about what life would've been like without him is impossible. Trae was my first born but there's something about Zo that pulls on my heart a little tougher. It may be because he will still hold my hand to fall asleep, or will cuddle with me in the recliner when I don't feel good. Whatever the reason - life without this boy would simply be too vanilla.

I love my boys more than life itself. They give me strength when I'm weak, they're the light in my darkest hours, and I'll be forever indebted to them for saving me from who I could've been.

Happy Birthday Gobble. Mommy loves you forever and ever and ever.