Yes, They're Real.
Let me start off by saying that I don't know if I want this blog to be humorous or deep. It's some real life shit I'm dealing with so you may just get a little bit of both.
What if we stared at a man's crotch the way they stared at our chest? What if we were constantly looking for a dick print the way they look for the slightest chance of our nipples being hard?
After having these two boulders on my chest since middle school, I have decided it's time for a breast reduction. The women reading are probably thinking "Good for you girl!" But the men reading - well... that's a completely different reaction.
Which brings me to wanting to write this blog.
I've had big boobs since I first went through puberty. It's like my body just skipped the training bra phase and immediately decided I'd forever be stuck with something that was entirely too big for my frame.
Fun fact - I hate having big boobs. Hate hate hate. My back hurts constantly, I don't even know what a cute bra looks like, and the first thing people see when I walk in are my boobs.
I've tried to think of the pros to be this busty but no. There aren't any. The level of uncomfortable I am daily has gotten to be too much to deal with.
They are always in the way. Currently I'm a 34G and I have days where I think they grew another cup size overnight.
This hasn't just taken a toll on me physically but mentally and emotionally they are exhausting. Remember that blog post I had about an eating disorder? Yeah, so. These things I carry around with me - don't help my struggle with that.
They make me feel fat. I have to buy larger shirts, I can't wear button downs, and I don't think I've owned a strapless shirt since middle school.
I wear baggy shirts a lot because if I wear something form fitting or that shows the slightest hint of cleavage I get those "looks". You know what I'm talking about. The ones from some women thinking I'm slutty or the ones from men thinking they wouldn't mind a night alone with the funbags.
I don't run. Not just because I hate working out but honestly because it's too damn uncomfortable. I've had people suggest wearing a sports bra (or two) over my regular bra. Why is that my only option?
When somebody tells me that there are women that would love to have what I do, well - good for those women. They may enjoy the uncomfortable staring or the sideways comments but I don't.
I want to be known as just 'Lesli with the wild curls'. This 'Lesli with the big boobs' that people have come to know is tired.
I've laughed at the comments that really have me squeamish and I've even posted pics of me in a swimsuit that probably show too much. So, for that, I'll take ownership.
My message to anybody that may not understand my decision - it is not for you to understand. Just know that the looks, comments, lack of self confidence, and back pain has contributed to this life altering decision.
I've scheduled a consultation and have started getting everything together that I'll need for my insurance to cover the surgery.
Nothing is set in stone and these are just the first steps of what I'm thinking is going to be a long journey. I don't care about the pain that comes with surgery or any scar that might be left behind. I just care about how much better I'll feel about myself after.
Oh, and of course the cute bras I'll be able to wear. Definitely the bras.